I want to disappear - Approaching Eating Disorders

Worldwide, up to 70 million individuals suffer from an eating disorder such as Anorexia, Bulimia or Binge Eating. Affected persons are of all genders, appearances and ages; numerous studies confirm that young women and girls in industrialized nations are at the highest risk to be affected. One out of then, so the current hypothesis, will experience an eating disorder at least once in their lifetime. Nevertheless, the sources and effects of this illness are still highly stigmatized, discreeted and excluded from societal discourse.

In I want to disappear, over 20 individuals narrate their personal stories and experiences with an eating disorder. Mafalda Rakoš accompanied her protagonists over the course of several years, and collected numerous photographs, interviews and other materials which were assembled into this book within a close cooperation.
The intimate portraits and testimonies give insight into the personal conflicts, ruptures and insecurities which lie at the root of this disease.

Very soon, a new perspective is revealed: Eating Disorders are never a sign of weakness. And one is by no means alone with it.

Encontros Imagem Book Award: 1st Prize
German Photobook Award: 3rd Prize
Book Award of Royal Society of Photography, London: Shortlist
SCAN Photobooks: Shortlist
Dummy Award Athens Photo Festival: Shortlist